somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I smell stomach acid.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
