Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I understand Curling. That high.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
