This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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