but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
