How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
