He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize