Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize