your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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