so that wasnt chicken after all
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
