vagina is talking i cant
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
