We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
