I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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