i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
