Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
