mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
