I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
