i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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