Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
