in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
