All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
