Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize