Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
