you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
