Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
