dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
