your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize