You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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