It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
