Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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