I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I stole a fireplace last night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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