i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
