I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize