i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
