NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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