Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm really busy with my period
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