Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
