Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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