You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Everything about him screamed your future.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
