Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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