ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish you could order shots online.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize