butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
