Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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