All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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