Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
