capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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