You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
