apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize