If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
