I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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