Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
