Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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