Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
