google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
