I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
