he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize