Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
