spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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