that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
