my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
time to smoke my breakfast
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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