Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
