is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
